“goose bumps of embarrassment”

Goose bumps, also called goose flesh, goose pimples, chill bumps, or the medical term cutis anserina, are the bumps on a person’s skin at the base of body hairs which may involuntarily develop when a person is cold or experiences strong emotions such as fear or awe… or in my case ‘embarrassment’.

So, funny story… don’t worry, it’s short.  Today at work this woman after ordering what she wanted practically strong armed me into giving her a discount only for Starbucks employees without having proof that she actually works for the company.  I gave it to her but didn’t let the transaction finish with getting in the last word,  admittingly so with a slight attitude,  saying something along the lines of, “I’ve put it through for you this time, but next time, you will need to have your Starbucks card to get the discount.”  She swore at me under her breath while paying and after she got her drink she ‘left’.  The other staff on and I were talking about it, and how rude she was and how I regretted  putting the discount through for her knowing she was well ‘at it’ coming in with a clearly memorized number.  While continuing to vent about how I’m not going to put up with unnecessary rudeness from customers, I turned and saw that the horrible woman had decided to sit in with her ‘to go’ coffee and was listening to every word we were speaking.  My stomach dropped to my butt and instead of breaking out in a sweat, i got goosebumps everywhere!  I was mortified.  I’d let my pride take over my words and actions of that moment…. I hate when that happens!!  The whole situation was just so very petty.  I can’t stand petty-ness but somehow got sucked in to just that.  

…in other news.

I can’t get enough of little miss Cara (my newest niece).  I’ve fallen in love with Whitney Houston all over again.  I  think oatmeal raisin cookies are my new favorite.  I can’t wait to be in my life 5 -10 years from now.  I can’t seem to attain the discipline I need.  I hate money.  Sing-Kill-Worth’s new song (live) is a taste of heaven.  I have the love of a man who has some of the strongest character qualities ever.  

 

The end.

funny how life can take you by surprise…

…you never thought you’d feel this waking.  Funny how dreams can get you to believe in things you never thought you’d dream again.  I don’t know what the future holds…but one thing I have, this moment that will last.  It’s the only thing I need to know for now.  Crazy it seems, how this could ever be.  Well, maybe it’s just me… but still… I’m dreaming again.

different

As some of you know, I arrived back to sunny Paisley yesterday morning after a brief visit to my stateside family and friends in Houston, Orlando, and Springfield.  The time away was very good, overdue and muchly needed.  I spent the first five days in Houston with my oldest brother Paul, his wife Nichole and friends.  The time with them was amazing.  I got some time to just ‘be’ with Paul, without the competition of other family members for his time.  As much as he did encourage and spoil me, the time with him didn’t come without it’s reprimands… lol.  He must have spent an hour looking online one morning at all of the negative aspects of drinking large amounts of Dr. Pepper on a regular basis and what it can do to you.  He actually said I had an addiction to it and that he was worried for my health. haha!  ahh Paul – I know you mean well. lol

While I was in the Houston/Hungerford area, I took a drive out to see my Grandma.  She’s not doing very well, and has been dealing with a weak heart for quite sometime.  I sat in a chair next to her bed and we talked for over an hour about life, love, God and how all applies to me.  The time with her was very special and long overdue as well.  We were talking, and everything was great till she asked me a question that sat deeper within me than the others did.  She asked me, “when you look back over 08′, what did you accomplish for yourself?”.  booooooooom.  There it was, the question that I had worked so hard to ignore or push aside for fear that the honest answer wouldn’t match up to God’s, my parents/family, even my own expectations.  She asked me that, and I just sat there – with no answer, other than the one that my silence obviously gave.  I thought about it, and it was true.  I worked the same job i’ve been in for 3 and a half years, been the same amount involved with my church as i’ve been for over 3 years, and dealt with whatever challenges that life, love, and God threw my way.  That’s what I did – i dealt.  I don’t  want to just deal or cope with life.  I want to be always moving forward, developing, investing, growing, learning, loving.  With God’s help and direction mixed with more discipline on my part…maybe 09′ will be different.  

We shall see.

xx

” revereri “

ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French, from Latin reverentia,from revereri ‘stand in awe of’’. 

“Reverence” 

To stand in awe of something.  In awe of what?  A band? A sports team?  A role model?  Money?  Earthly possessions?  The list of things we could stand in awe of could go on, but what about standing in awe of something (or someone) worthy of  it. 

It’s a new year… new goals to be set,  new experiences to be had, new resolutions waiting to be broken.  For me, it’s a new blog, lol.  I’d like to do a better job of not taking so many amazing things in my life for granted.  I’d like to not be as stupid or careless with my words and actions, to take every thought captive, every action made with a good reason.  To just be more mindful and, in turn, grateful of the grace I’m given every moment of every day knowing all the while how badly I don’t deserve any of it.

Here we go, new year, new blog, new day – another chance to stand in awe.

x